Subject: Military retirement plan (joke)

[Mischeif]

The Army found it had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out
with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his out stretched hands to his toes. He walked
out with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzly old Colonel who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied "from the tip of my penis to my testicles."

The pension man suggested that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received.

But the old Colonel insisted and they decided to go along with him
providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical
officer arrived and instructed the Colonel to "drop 'em", which he did. The
medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Colonel's penis
and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The Colonel calmly replied "Vietnam."

how many were expecting the size matters line intead? i liked it because of the other than expected ending.
_________________
You manage to tackle Mellie Knight, the two of you landing in a heap!
Roundtime: 6 sec.
Mellie Knight exclaims, "Ack!"
Mellie Knight says, "Holy shit, Taz brought me down."
Mellie Knight says, "Damn, I'm begining to feel tiny."

[Tylen]

Funny, but someone just posted that about 2 weeks ago.

http://www.haelrahv.com/messageboard/viewtopic.php?t=1814
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** The phrase "break a leg" just wasn't ambitious enough for Mellie Knight. [8:31 pm]
** Mellie Knight was soundly defeated by Aesal Anari-Idia in the Zgedhi Gkenrzeg Rav! [8:31 pm]