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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 1733
Location: Maryland
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 Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 1733
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 1733
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 2:58 pm Post subject: |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 1733
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 3:04 pm Post subject: |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 1733
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:39 am Post subject: |
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Polite way to pee
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners,
asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date
having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you
have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be
right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the
dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and
show us your good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to
shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce
you to after dinner."
The teacher fainted......
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HR-Mickey
Cloverfield Monster
Joined: 24 Nov 2002
Posts: 1844
Location: I've Got No 'billy
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.
The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.
I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.
Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.
If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?
Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard. I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.
Thank You.
Billy 'Smiles' Evans,
The boy with just a head.
And a burlap sack for a body. |
_________________
Mickey Brunner
To make a long story short, don't tell it.
I may be going nowhere, but I'm going nowhere fast.
---
Kelvin Watt says, "I stopped drinking coke when no longer drinking beer didn't make my gut disappear."
---
Kaelin Rae says, "Wait a minute..."
Kaelin Rae says, "You mean they have a COKE machine that dispenses beer."
Kaelin Rae nods to you.
Kaelin Rae says, "Greaser."
Kaelin Rae looks at you and sighs. |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 1733
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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LOL!
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HR-Mickey
Cloverfield Monster
Joined: 24 Nov 2002
Posts: 1844
Location: I've Got No 'billy
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:16 pm Post subject: |
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Didn't I post this someplace like two football seasons ago?
_________________
Mickey Brunner
To make a long story short, don't tell it.
I may be going nowhere, but I'm going nowhere fast.
---
Kelvin Watt says, "I stopped drinking coke when no longer drinking beer didn't make my gut disappear."
---
Kaelin Rae says, "Wait a minute..."
Kaelin Rae says, "You mean they have a COKE machine that dispenses beer."
Kaelin Rae nods to you.
Kaelin Rae says, "Greaser."
Kaelin Rae looks at you and sighs. |
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soundless
EIGHT YEARS OLD!!!
Joined: 22 May 2004
Posts: 5970
Location: Spaceship
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| Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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| HR-Mickey wrote: |
| Didn't I post this someplace like two football seasons ago? |
you and the rest of the internet 
_________________
A bright-eyed Thekko Ku Kalla dressed in a dapper sailor suit takes to flight and careers through the air toward the Modan Kucho and slams into him!
With a high-pitched cry, The Modan Kucho collapses in death. |
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Hubert
Joined: 18 Apr 2006
Posts: 44
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| Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:49 am Post subject: |
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| soundless wrote: |
| HR-Mickey wrote: |
| Didn't I post this someplace like two football seasons ago? |
you and the rest of the internet |
I have it as my background 
_________________
Greetings,
Hubert |
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HR-Mickey
Cloverfield Monster
Joined: 24 Nov 2002
Posts: 1844
Location: I've Got No 'billy
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| Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 3:26 am Post subject: |
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I'm not as web-travelled as most internet users, so I miss out on the redundant meme's. And actually sort of prefer it that way.
_________________
Mickey Brunner
To make a long story short, don't tell it.
I may be going nowhere, but I'm going nowhere fast.
---
Kelvin Watt says, "I stopped drinking coke when no longer drinking beer didn't make my gut disappear."
---
Kaelin Rae says, "Wait a minute..."
Kaelin Rae says, "You mean they have a COKE machine that dispenses beer."
Kaelin Rae nods to you.
Kaelin Rae says, "Greaser."
Kaelin Rae looks at you and sighs. |
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soundless
EIGHT YEARS OLD!!!
Joined: 22 May 2004
Posts: 5970
Location: Spaceship
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| Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:13 am Post subject: |
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| HR-Mickey wrote: |
| I'm not as web-travelled as most internet users, so I miss out on the redundant meme's. And actually sort of prefer it that way. |
you're much better off that way!
_________________
A bright-eyed Thekko Ku Kalla dressed in a dapper sailor suit takes to flight and careers through the air toward the Modan Kucho and slams into him!
With a high-pitched cry, The Modan Kucho collapses in death. |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 1733
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 1733
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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Some ladies have big pussies
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 1733
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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