Creative Expression

[Enverdi]

Hey everyone.

I've taken to writing lyrics again. I wrote these the other day and I would like criticism for them. Be honest and don't spare my feelings.

Here's the first one:

Put me in your place for a second
Let me see through your eyes
I want to feel your pain, baby
Feel just the way you feel

I spent a considerable amount of time
Just feeling sorry for myself
Whether I was in or out, coming or going
I could do nothing more than worry about my fate
So why is it that now, with you, I am more concerned
That I may not be pretty enough?
Not because you think I am unattractive
But because I look unattractive in comparison to you
Perhaps it's all the same

So put me in your place for a second
Let me see through your eyes
I want to feel your pain, baby
Feel just the way you feel

I'm sure my world would change
My outlook, my perspective
Call it whatever you want to call it
I am quite certain though that I would get over
The thing that I can't quite get over
I'm sure that thing is you but I can't quite prove it
Just give me some more evidence

So put me in your place for a second
Let me see through your eyes
I want to feel your pain, baby
Feel just the way you feel

So what it all boils down to is this:
I will never be satisfied enough for you
Not that I am not satisfied with you, but
I am unsatisfied with life in general.
It was nice knowing you
I am appreciative for the time you have graced me
But now is not forever, and never will be,
I have my own cradles to rob.
_________________
Why use logic when you can just...make stuff up?

[Enverdi]

Here's another.

L is for Lonely
L is for Lost
L is for all the Long nights that loving you has cost
L is for the Longing that exists withing my heart

O is for Obscene
O is for Over
O is for the One time I truly felt I had a lover
O is for the Open wound that tears my world apart

Of all the things that L O V E brings
I've noticed that they had nothing to do with Love
Of all the things that L O V E takes
I've never felt more alone

V is for Vicarious
For I've only felt life through you
V is for the Vengeance my pain seeks
When my Vision falls on you

Of all the things that L O V E brings
I've noticed that they had nothing to do with Love
Of all the things that L O V E takes
I've never felt more alone

I draw pictures of your face
Using crayons at the restaurant
On the napkins they give me with my long island
I start with the red, because red hearts are the prettiest
Or do I start with red because that's all I see
When I look at the pictures of your face
I draw on my love-drowning napkin

E is for Eternity
E is for the End
E is for Every single thing your words just could not mend
E is for the Emptiness my life has been

Of all the things that L O V E brings
I've noticed that they had nothing to do with Love
Of all the things that L O V E takes
I've never felt more alone
_________________
Why use logic when you can just...make stuff up?

[Enverdi]

I would really appreciate any input you guys might have
_________________
Why use logic when you can just...make stuff up?

[Dzynna]

You've got some well written stuff there...if a bit depressing.
_________________

Dzynna Zol
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The Retreat
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[Enverdi]

Here's an angry one. I swear they get happier!

I've never waited for someone before
For a big red heart to come walking through my door
But I've always wanted attention
I always felt I deserved something more

So yes, when you came along I latched on tight
And I held on with all of my might
It may not have been perfect
But I tried my best to make it feel right
But you shattered it alarmingly easy
In one swift conversation last night
It wasn't even in person, does that bother you?
That you ran, tail between your legs, in fright?

I've never claimed to be more than a boy
But to you I was nothing more than a toy
A rubik's cube, ripe for manipulation
Do you really think when my sides match
That I will bring you joy?
Or anyone for that matter
So for your sake and mine, I won't be coy.

Fuck you and your castle of spikes
Fuck you and your wall of bloody pikes
Fuck you and your defense mechanisms
Fuck you and your emotional catechism
Just...fuck you.
I'll never be rejected again.
_________________
Why use logic when you can just...make stuff up?

[Dzynna]

You have any funny ones?

I've always really enjoyed the ones displaying wit and sarcasm. Sorry if I haven't been a fair feedback giver, I'm just not much into depressing songs or poetry...well, songs if they have really good music to go with them are acceptable
_________________

Dzynna Zol
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The Retreat
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[Enverdi]

I've never been quite good at funny lyrics. Back when I played DR I wrote a song called "The Lady and Her Balls" but I seem to lack that good humor when it comes to songs.
_________________
Why use logic when you can just...make stuff up?

[fatboy]

Moose, Moose I loves a Moose!
_________________
You hack your way through a very young fisherman's back. It may not have been pretty, but it got the job done.
A very young fisherman groans and collapses.

[Dzynna]

[Enverdi]

Here's the funniest I can get.

Through my trials and tribulations
Through my crimes and conversations
Through my meaningless adorations
I realized that all I do is talk about myself

So here I am to talk about you
And all those interesting things you do
Like when you kicked me to the curb
I thought that was just supurb

But we're not here to talk about me
Stop changing the subject, you see
I always talk about my own life
I fail to see anyone else's strife

So instead it's of you I wish to speak
Truly told, we needn't be discrete
I've always been an open book
Oh don't give me that annoyed look

I am one so you should be too
Hey, let's draw up plans for a new you!
We'll start at the top and make our way down
Alright, first we'll start with that frown

Oh this is great, it'll be fun!
We'll take you out and get you some sun
Dye your hair a nice light blonde
Set you up with my friend Armande

Wait, wait, where are you going?
Don't you like what I am showing?
You think I should...what? Just stick to myself?
Apparently it's me that needs all the help.
_________________
Why use logic when you can just...make stuff up?

[Dzynna]

Interesting...I'm starting to see a common theme here though.
_________________

Dzynna Zol
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The Retreat
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